This One is All About You

I got a question from a dad! A stay-at-home dad, in fact, which I have to admit I find pretty sexy. I’m so excited. Here’s Eric’s question: 

Our 13 month old daughter, who has grown up splendiforously on formula, is now happy drinking regular whole milk.  She does milk/juice from a sippy cup during the day, but we're still giving her an 8 oz bottle of milk before she goes to sleep at night.  She has been sleeping through the night since about 5 months ... and understandably, we aren't looking forward to any change in that habit.  Our pediatrician gave us strict instructions to try and eliminate the bottle all together by the 15 month visit.  But, of course, she had no specific advice on how to transition it away.  Should we:  1) Go cold turkey with the go-to-sleep bottle, and hope for the best?  2) Gradually reduce the amount of milk in the bottle every few days till there isn't anything there to drink?  3) Go for a sippy cup at night?  4) Continue to give her the bottle until she's 18?  Are there other ways to maximize the chances of continuing our sleeping-at-night pattern while dropping the bottle?  

Well gosh; let’s enumerate the ways in which I have absolutely nothing to say on this topic. 1) Mia was breastfed until she gave it up cold-turkey a few weeks ago. 2) Mia had one bottle at 6 weeks and stoutly refused to ever touch another one. 3) Mia greatly prefers straws to sippy cups. 4) Mia will not, under any circumstances, drink milk from a cup. 5) Mia gets a sippy cup with water at bedtime, and she is not very interested in it. 

There is one thing I know – now that Mia is finally (finally!) sleeping through the night, I am not willing to do anything that may interfere with that. However, I suffered a lot more than Eric did with the sleeping thing, so maybe he is willing to at least experiment a little bit. 

Obviously, I have nothing to say here, and you know that I am the world’s leading expert on child development up to 13 months, so it kills me to refrain from offering any advice. You will have do to it for me and I will live vicariously through you. So, internet ladies (and men, hooray!) what advice do you have for Eric?

(Also, hey, you guys wanna do something for me and get  yourselves a nice little something in exchange?  If you go here and sign up for the MomBlogs Daily Alert email before the end of September, you will earn 50 ClubMom points.  You can use ClubMom points to buy things like books or jewelry or grocery store gift cards - which is what I always get because I am boring.  Also, if you all sign up and pick my blog then I might win!  And I like to win!  And then we could have a big Beth Won Party!  And you could all listen to me gloat about winning for weeks!  And it would be totally, totally awesome!  Um, for me, at least.  So hey, click on over and think about signing up, would ya'?  Please?  Pretty please?  Pretty please with Doritos on top?)

Comments

[sweets5260]

Okay...here's what Eric should do. At night, give the child a bottle--but only with water. Usually at this phase the bottle is only for comfort, so either the child will wean or drink water which is safe anyway. Now only if "I" could produce water. :D

[Alissa]

We tried the water thing with #1 son, but it didn't work right off. He flat out refused the water and that was a big issue because then he was upset and refused to sleep at all. So we started watering down the milk with water, a little more water each night, until he just didn't want it anymore. He never seemed to catch on. One night he tasted it and pushed it away, and that was that...

[Meredith]

If it's the actual bottle and not the milk that's the problem here, then try switching to a sippy cup. Since she's already familiar with it I'd think it would be no problem, especially if the only thing that changes is the delivery system and not the routine around it - snuggling in a chair with mom/dad while reading stories or watching Alton Brown on Food Network (that's our favorite).

[lori]

My concern about the night time bottle of milk has more to do with his daughter's teeth (my mom was a dental assistant, it's ingrained in my head). Having milk and then going to bed without brushing her teeth could lead to/promote tooth decay. Not necessarily a big deal with the baby teeth, but I'm sure you want to keep those suckers intact for as long as they are needed. Water wouldn't cause the problem, so I guess I'd suggest trying to get her switched to water. If you are concerned about her getting hungry in the middle of the night, give her a bedtime snack and then the water (brush her teeth between the two if you think you can pull that off). You might have more luck with the water if you switch to a sippy cup. The other thing is that you may want to try and transition her away from bedtime liquids completely to get her ready for potty training. A solid snack before bed will fill the tummy and won't contribute to nightime peeing.

This is all coming from a mom of a 6-month-old who recently stopped sleeping through the night and refuses to eat solid food. So what do I know?

[geepeemum]

We get the same advice here in the UK because apparently bottles are more likely to lead to tooth decay than sippy cups. Not sure why this is - but I checked with my dentist and he was pretty dismissive of the idea. Using a bottle to suck sugary juice out of all day is a problem. A bottle of milk at night isn't - in his opinion. I also talked to some health visitors who admitted that they parrot the advice but don't think a bottle of milk at night is an issue.
Now for my confession (and I'm a family doctor *cringe*) - my daughter just gave up her night-time bottle last week and she's 3! Obviously she's been drinking from normal cups for ages but this evening comfort was important to her, she sees the dentist regularly and has perfect teeth and I just thought "sod it, we'll do it when she wants to". She's now very happy with a special new "bedtime" cup for her milk. My son is 22 months. He still drinks his bedtime milk from a bottle. It doens't bother me now. He'll stop one day.
PS As soon as my daughter agreed to change to a cup (which we bought specially) I got rid of her bottles. No going back!!
PPS Just in case you think my children are spoilt brats who rule the roost - they're really not. I just figured there are battles worth fighting in parenting - and that wasn't one.

[Traci]

At 13 months, I don't think it's a super huge issue. You could try the water or try a sippy cup. But if that didn't work, I wouldn't sweat it too much either.

[Kelly]

If the water/sippy cup ideas don't work, what worked for us was to knock back the time the bottle was given, while keeping the bedtime the same - slowly increasing the delay between bottle and sleep until the bottle is unnecessary.

[Rachel]

We have a similar issue. Our pediatrician hasn't yet told us to give up the bottle but I suspect at our 15month appt next week she will. Our daughter has always been difficult to put to sleep and she currently gets bottles before naps (4 oz.) and bed (6 oz.) (and still gets one in the middle of the night - 4:30AM - which we are trying to eliminate by decreasing the amt we give her). But I do wonder why they are supposed to give the bottle up. Not sure it is worth the effort, as the mom whose 3-yr old just gave hers up said. Hmmm.

[Tina]

My confession is that I just lied to my pediatrician about her being off bottles at the 18 month check up! My daughter was Bf until age 1 when she weaned herself. Until then, she refused all attempts at a bottle, so once she finally accepted one we thought,"Hmmm, she probably will not take these bottles very long" (we were wrong!)She loved them with all her soul! Like one of the PP said, this was and is one battle we don't want to fight (and she is 3)One bottle of warm milk at bedtime is not the worst habit in the world- if fact- she drinks it all down quickly on my lap while we read our book before bed. Then we brush teeth and she goes to bed. She will take all other drinks all day in a cup, and we look at this as a last remnant of her babyhood- which I think she is almost ready to give up on her own. It is more common than you think! However, if I were you, and I had a 1 yr old and wanted to get her off the bottle, I'd go cold turkey to a cup, still with the same routine of holding/cuddling etc. I've heard there are a few nights (maybe a week) of protest and crying, but then they move on and it's done. Good luck!

[Sarah]

My little Pumpkin is 13 months and we got rid of bottles a few weeks ago. We phased out day time bottles, and then just switched nite time bottles to a sippy (Then got EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE BOTTLES OUT OF THE HOUSE). We do her nite time milk cup early enough that she doesn't necessarily connect it w/ bedtime - as in, she drinks it at about 6:30, and goes to sleep roughly an hour later. (But we still have to get rid of the sleepy time paci's - so I've got one habit kicked, and then we'll have to kick the paci habit!).

[Eric]

Thanks for the great ideas ... as one of the posters mentioned, we do brush her teeth in the comfy chair after the bottle, so we've covered the teeth situation. We would like to transition it away to help simplify the nighttime routine -- and if now is a good time to break the habit, then we'd prefer it sooner rather then a few years down the line ... so, based on the comments so far, I'm leaning towards trying a night or two of cold turkey ... if it works, great, if not, back off and try the water ... we're going camping this weekend, so we'll keep up the routine through the trip ... but then give it a go after we get back. Thanks Internet!

[Kelly]

With my oldest we started phasing out her bottles at 8 months and on her first birthday she got a whole new set of cool sippy cups. When I asked her if she'd rather use her cool big kid cups or a baby bottle she joyously shouted "BIG KID CUPS!" Right after we went and threw out all her bottles, which she got a kick out of throwing thigns away so this helped too. She never once asked for a bottle after that. As for the night time thing? She ONLY got water to take to bed with her at night, and it was ONLY in a sippy cup after the bottles in the trash party. And she never once whined, complained or even seemed to care that we had taken her bottle away.

[chatty cricket]

I hate the strict instructions from pediatricians. In fact, our pediatrician has never given us a strict instruction, just suggestions with reassurance that we're not going to ruin our child (probably). Talk about adding to the stress of parenting. Geez!!

Lady grew up on formula and thrived on it. She stopped "needing" a bedtime bottle at around 9 months, but we kept it up as part of her routine. At her 1 year checkup, I asked about the bedtime bottle, and our ped told me that we can pretty much give it up any time, but that waiting until around 15 months would likely lead to a little struggle because by that time she'd be well aware that her bottle was no longer in the routine. So? That night we decided to go cold turkey, and added three bedtime books into Lady's routine to make up for the lack of the bedtime bottle as a soothing mechanism. She didn't even notice and it wasn't a struggle at all.

I'd say try cold turkey, and add something else as a little distraction that you might want to keep as a permanent part of her night time routine. You might be surprised at how smoothly it goes!

[Darlene]

We have had success with 3 kids and diluting the milk more and more each night with water. Baby number 4 is 15 months old and still gets a bottle at night, but not in her crib. She has to sit in my lap to have the bottle. I keep thinking it is time to wean her from the bottle, but not sure if I am ready.

[Haley-O]

I can't answer the question either....My little monkey was breastfed a year and then went straight to cups and sippy cups....She'll only drink milk with meals....

I tried to subscribe to you (for you, of course!), but it didn't work. I'll try again. I don't need the points, though, because I'm Canadian so it's silly for me to buy stuff here....

[shannon]

Doctor schmoctor...I would do what you need to do in order to have a happy healthy baby who sleeps through the night. Unless your baby 'has to' for medical reasons, I have known plenty-o babies who have been on bottle far longer than 15 months. Everythings all good. Let her work her mojo.

[Jaycie]

Oooh, I caught Eric's comment about going camping. I'd jump on the chance to ditch the bottle while away from home (since he mentioned being willing to try the cold turkey route). The bedtime cues at home are already ingrained...she knows that the chair and story means it's bottle time, followed by teeth brushing, etc. Away from home, it's all new...if there's no chair, then she may not expect the bottle, etc. I'd be sure to have a bottle on hand on the camping trip, but I wouldn't ofer it unless she reallllllly seemed to need it. Good luck!

[Eric]

hmmm ... I'm intriged by Jaycie's comment ... our thought process has been to try and replicate the home routine as much as possible during camping (and as clarification, camping means in an RV trailer, so we have the pack-n-play with us as a crib, etc.) ... we had a successful 10 day trip earlier this summer ... including the bottle.

The main potential downside of ising this opportunity that I see at the moment is that if she gets mad and stays up - DW and I are then both trapped in the same metal box with a mad baby.

But even with that potential .. we're only going for a 3-day weekend, so we should be able to survive 72 hours without sleep (hey, it worked in college, right!?)

[Katheryn Ostler]

I don't have the same type of experience since Benjamin never had a bottle and nursed until he turned 2. I can add my two cents in though. When we were getting rid of the last breastfeed (right before bed) we gave him a sippy cup of his soy milk instead of me. Worked like a charm. For a couple days he wanted to trade off between me and the cup, but then he decided he liked the cup best, and that was that.

[Jessica]

First of all, I have to confess that we didn't eliminate the bedtime bottle until our little girl turned two. She'd given up the daytime ones at about 17-18 months, and the bedtime one had become such a part of her routine that we didn't even think about it much until my mom asked when we were going to wean her completely.

So, here's what we did. We talked to her. We talked about how when she turned two, she'd be too big for bottles. We told her about the toddler bed she'd be getting soon, and how she couldn't have bottles in the toddler bed. We started this about a month from her birthday, just sort of casually mentioning these things from time to time. Then, when she turned two, we took away the bottle (the night of her birthday! Yes we are mean, cruel and evil) and braced ourselves for the worst. She's notoriously stubborn when it comes to getting her way.

Nothing. Nada. Zip. She asked once, we told her no, she complained a bit, and went to sleep. Granted, over the next couple of weeks, it seemed like she was a little fussier right at bedtime, and woke up in the night a few times that first week, but all in all, not bad.

I do agree with a couple of other posters that attempting the bottle vanishing act while on vacation, when your routine is different. We initiated the change right about the same time that my husband (who's bedtime role was to prepare the sacred bottle) went back to night classes. Him not being there right at bedtime seemed to help remove that behavioral trigger.

[Joanne]

It's funny, my pediatrician gives us pretty strict instructions and I love it! I mean, I am on my first child here, and he's on his ... I don't know how many, but I just trust him. I don't feel like I have instincts about so many things with my boy, because my *instinct* says "give him whatever he wants to keep him happy". It helps me to have a somewhat disinterested, well informed outsider advise me. Anyway, my boy is about to be 15 months, which is when I decided he would go off his evening bottle - he too has been on sippy cups since he was about 9 months old. We have just kept the bottle as part of his routine, like so many others have mentioned. I am going to keep the routine the same and just give him a sippy cup instead of a bottle and keep everything else the same. He probably doesn't need the milk, he drinks 6 and more ounces at every meal, but we all crave a routine around here. I figure if he doesn't drink the milk in the sippy, I'll change it to water and he can take it to bed, for all I care.

[kristen]

okay, did it...and didn't need doritos!

[liz]

Let her keep the bottle.

[farfromca]

If you are still hoping to remove the bottle, what if you remove it when you return from your trip? We changed from crib to bed after we got back from a camping trip. Our routine was the same while camping, but the change of pace gave us the opportunity to mix things up. I thought it would be easier for us if he was in a familiar and comforting environment, where this was the only change... We were pleasantly surprised with the outcome! :) The bottle may be slightly more difficult since it is also a matter of adding more during the day or having dinner later... but might be worth a try??????

[linda]

first off, I really appreciate the doritos.

my daughters have had a snack before bed since forever. We sit at the dining room table, have a couple crackers, sometimes an apple, or grapes, or 1/2 granola bar, or banana or cheerios and 1/2 juice glass of warm milk (probably 2 oz at best). Then we brush teeth, read a book and its nite nite time. No problems, no sleepus interuptus, no weight prolem and no cavatities.

Now transitioning from a bottle to a cup or sippy cup can be interesting, especially if they are really attached. You may have to try the sippy cup several times before she will give it the time of day. Try reading a book, and the bottle for awhile then move to the sippy cup and a book. I used the soft spout sippy cups, walmart has some good ones that do not leak, Nubby is the brand. Those work pretty good, use those for awhile then move on to a cup.