Maybe Break his Kneecaps?

Hey, just a curiosity question here.  If your handsome, kind, brilliant and wonderful husband was lying awake reading one night while you slept peacefully at his side and the baby started screaming bloody murder and your handsome, kind, whatever husband decided to turn off his light, roll over and pretend to be asleep while you stumbled out of the bed in a sleep-drugged stupor to spend the next three hours trying to get the kid back to sleep, would you break his arm, or just change the locks before he got home the next day?

What if it was the second time he had done it?

(Oh, I cleaned my filthy engagement ring with his toothbrush.  That'll learn him.)

Comments

[averil]

oh, why limit yourself like that?

i say do both!

next time just give him a big 'ol whack on the head with the book he just put down and threaten to with hold the sex!

[Swistle]

Break the arm AND change the locks AND dip his toothbrush in the toilet.

[Sharri]

Is it because he knows you will do it? I find sometimes my hubby doesn't do things because he is just used to me doing it.

That said, rip a few pages out of his book.

[sweets5260]

I say tell him that because of your hard work at night without any help, you are so tired that for the next month you really won't be able to participate in ANY other nighttime activities besides sleep! Haha! ;)

[Leah]

"Oh no, honey! Why are you using that toothbrush! Mia was using it to learn to scrub the base of the toilet last night at 3am while I was trying to settle her down!"

"Well, of course I MEANT to throw it out before you used it. I just haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately."

[hello insomnia]

When my son was about two months old, my husband did just that. So I gathered up all the dirty diapers and stuffed them into his briefcase and shut it, knowing that he doesn't open it up until he gets to work. I then waited for the initial "WTF, MONA?" and subsequent apology.

Here's proof: http://tinyurl.com/2pac3k

[Kelly]

Next time he's asleep, and Mia wakes up screaming bloody murder, I say you fake sleep as well. Who will hold out the longest? It's the match of the century! Oh, I know you're not here yet but matchbox cars really hurt bare feet in the middle of the night. I suggest you invest in those for the next sleepless baby night.

[MadCityMama]

All of the above... oh and I would take a razor blade and gently/neatly remove the very last page of said book.

[chatty cricket]

Do both AND put his underpants in the freezer. Sheesh!!

[jodifur]

wow, while here are some ideas-

1. Chris gets up every morning w/ Mioa on the weekends for a month.

2. Go out of town for a weekend by yourself or w/ friends-(like me, this weekend!)

3. Full day at a spa

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I'd pretend to be asleep next time he wanted some action.

[Deb L]

He's pretended to not be awake in the night, as have I, but he's never carried it as far as your scenario. I would have to seriously refrain from homicide if he'd ever pulled that stunt. There are no words.

[Tina]

Mine just used to put earplugs in before bed because I snore....so he'd act like it wasn't his problem 'cuz he had earplugs in, ya know???? Guess who my daughter calls 100% of the time and will not have any substitutes?-ME, of course. Make your DH take turns with you or you'll end up like us!

[Mommy Daisy]

Off with his head. Well, maybe not, but how could he??!! I would definately call him out about it later. Make him feel really guilty about telling the story of how you were up for 3 LONG hours and are SOOO tired. Tell him over and over until he does something to *sorta* make it better. Because we all know nothing would make it better for now.

[Jaime]

Go get the baby, put her in bed with him and find a comfy spot on the couch to sleep. He'll find a way through it.

[sweethomealagirl]

I think I would have kicked his ass so hard he would have never given a second thought to jumping out of bed first :)

[fauve]

I used to shave my arm pits with his razor...

[jessica]

Humiliate him on the internet.

Didn't you say something to him?

[Traci]

Bake him some Ex-Lax brownies.

[Dawn]

Mona your my new HERO!!!!

I say when he get's home tonight let him know just how out of line that was, guilt, guilt, guilt! If it happens again I like the idea of putting Mia in bed with him and you go find a nice peacful place to sleep.

[Sparkle Pants]

Everyone has such good ideas...I say you do them ALL. We'll be there shortly to give him the what-for. No one messes with the trinity and gets away with it.

[anna]

Along with the other suggestions, you should read the last chapter in his book then tell him how it ends.

[Jenn Benn]

I say unscrew the lightbulb in his little book lamp so he thinks it's burned out.

[shawna]

See I come from a bit of an old fashioned mind set--women just do those things. No, I do not think it is right nor acceptable but it is **shrug**

I see my sister sometimes struggle with the equality think--"It's your turn to tend the baby."--and then get mad when it doesn't happen LOL

See, with it just being something I do, I don't have to get grumpy or resentful when my darling husband just snoozes while I get up for the umpteenth time. Although I am sure it is perculating somehwhere underneathLOL

[Joanne]

I would probably just get up and go get the kid but I WISH I'd say, "get up and get your baby, I got her last night". I tend to be a martyr about it but I hate myself for it.

We take turns putting the boy to bed, which my husband thinks is fair but actually, I think even if he put him to bed every night for the rest of his life, it would never equal what I do all freaking day.

I say just tell him to get up! But not in the middle of the night - before you go to bed, say, "If Mia wakes up tonight, you go and tend to her. And if you don't wake up, I'll poke you until you do. And if you STILL don't wake up, I'll break your kneecaps". Good luck!